You're who you Spend your time with

Sit down for a second and write down your three closest friends incomes, add their numbers up and then divide them by 3. Does this equal how much you're making?

People often wonder why they can't have great relationships, don't make any money, and why they're not growing spiritually. What we naturally do is begin blaming someone or something for who we are, but we never examine who is influencing us.

Did you ever notice that the people you're closest with have similar interests as you, and are in the same stages of life? I guarantee if you’re single you don't have a bunch of married friends, and I bet if you’re in college you don't have friends with real paying jobs. 

Being around certain people is going to shape who you're. I can tell exactly who you're by the people you hang out with and what you read. If you want to flourish whether that is in academia, marriage, faith and etc you need to be around people with the same values and goals as you. 

One crucial aspect of my life that I guard religiously is who I associate myself with. Are they going to be people who encourage me, tell me the truth and help me walk closer to where I think God is calling me? Or are they hindering me and I need to let them go? I know it sounds difficult but some of you need to walk away from your friends who are holding you back from your walk with Christ, or anything else; whether that be going to school, making a difference or to stop playing video games. As Pastor Rick Warren put it, "moving on doesn't mean you don't care, it just means you can't change anything" 

Here are some questions to ask yourself of the current community of people you're surrounding yourself with.

1) Do the people I hang out with care about me? Have you ever had that friend who seemed to only take from you? It's draining isn't it? It’s crucial to have people around you that love you enough to tell you the truth, but also encourage you to keep walking in the direction where they believe God is calling you. The big question to ask is if something were to happen to you would they be there for you, or would they not care?

2) Am I growing? The people that are dearest to you must be pushing you to grow, or else they're hindering you. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow day in and day out. If they're OK with where you're at and don't see who you could be and motivating you to that, it’s time to move on. 

3) Do they have the same goals as you? It’s important to be around people who have the same mindset, faith and values. If you surround yourself with people who have the same values, goals and beliefs you will find yourself achieving your goals much easier.

Let’s take some examples; If you’re broke and one day you want to have enough money to support a family, would you hang out with broke people? Or if you want to be a pastor one day, would you be hanging out with people who are lukewarm in their faith?

When it boils down to it, be extremely cautious of who you hang out with, because you will find that you will become more and more like them with every hour spent. 

Now you might be in the same situation as me, looking around and seeing that most of the people you currently know don't have the same calling or don't motivate you to where you think your life is projecting. Here are some techniques I use to fuel my personal calling

1) listen to people and read books whom you admire: If you want to grow in your faith then begin digesting books about the Christian faith and learn from the experts. If your desire is to be a great business leader then read and listen to the best business leaders. Reading a book is the same thing as sitting down and having an interview with the author. 

2) Serve other people: If the people you're currently around don't seem like your crowd don't hide from them! But instead begin serving them, and try to influence their lives so they can grow. "No one cares what you know until they know that you care", if you want to be changed help others change. 

3) Walk with God: When you have no one who you want to be like then continue to walk with the Lord, be in his word daily. He will never leave you, and he will always tell you the truth and encourage you in all parts of your life. I see God as my best friend who calls us to something greater than what we can achieve, which motivates me to grow. 

The Crucial step is to begin taking some action! Separate yourself from people who are bringing you down, and lovingly walk away knowing that God has better plans in store for you. This is difficult and some people will guilt trip you, but if you know what you have to do then don't hesitate!

My Story ===>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrepJUBr2SM

Twitter ==>> https://twitter.com/svetnazarov

Assertiveness conquer your inner strength

If you want to learn how to Stand up for yourself, or to get your view point out which allows other people to respect your opinion you must learn the Secrets of Assertiveness.

I was once a coward, someone who was picked on by other people, walked on and because of this I had anger. I remember the first time I was assertive, I stumbled over my words, I sweated and I could barely get my words out, terrified that the other person would beat me up. But overtime as I continued to use these principles people began to respect me as I voiced my opinion, and something changed in me and my confidence rose. This is the power of being Assertive. 

I love people, but when people do something that is hurtful or repetitive and you need to speak up, the Power of Assertiveness comes into play. It forces people to respect you, because how you speak screams Respect. It’s about respecting the other person by verbalizing your own thoughts, and NOT tearing them down and attacking them.  

Assertiveness is not to bring people down or blame people for what you're angry or feeling. It’s about using "I" messages and not "you" messages.

People who are sensitive like me, and individuals in general try to avoid conflict. It will not be easy to confront people the first time you use assertiveness, but you will see a change in how people will speak to you, and you will begin gaining confidence to speak your mind in any situation. Here are some ways to begin being Assertive:

1) Use “I” messages: If you want to get your point across make sure to use "I" messages. "This is how I felt about (blank), and not "you" messages, "you made me feel like this". It will allow people to listen to you, examine what they did.

2) Look them in the eye: If you're looking around nervously and not making direct eye contact with them they will not listen to you, and laugh it off as if it was nothing. Respect the other person by making eye contact.

3) Keep it Short: Say what you mean, and mean what you say. If someone did something to you, that you did not appreciate, make sure to keep your words short, and allow that person to respond, it could be as simple as "Hey I didn't like what happened back there, I would appreciate it, if you wouldn't speak to me like that anymore" and end it there. Wait for them to respond

4) Be patient: Don't allow yourself to be consumed with anger when someone offends you. Take some time to breathe to relax, to understand the situation and then patiently wait for a time where they're alone to speak with them. 

5) Speak with Gentleness: Assertiveness is powerful because it comes from a tone of confidence and respect for the other person. Make sure not to attack, but be gentle and straightforward in how you feel. You will find the other person much more responsive in their actions.

* All of these also apply to crowd setting or group setting when you're speaking. Continue using "I" messages and not "You" messages, and don't be afraid to speak your mind, you will find over time that you will have more respect for people as they will gain more respect for you. Blessings!

My Story==>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrepJUBr2SM

The Power of Assertiveness ===>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0iTGUKy368

Follow me on Twitter ====>> https://twitter.com/svetnazarov

The Top Secrets to build Confidence

During my Social anxiety years I lacked confidence. What this led down too was times where I needed to speak my mind but I didn't. This turned to people picking me apart, bullying and using me because I had no Idea how to stand up for myself. When I became a christian and started changing and using the principles I now teach, I began growing in confidence because of my faith. I was slowly able to stand up for myself, and have the courage to go out in public and speak to people face to face, never cowering again. Using these principles and the breathing technique I showed earlier will allow you to become more confident, and to do things you have always wanted to do, like public speaking, being assertive, and speaking your mind.

It Boils down to this, Confidence. Everyone wants it but few people have it. So how do you stick out from the crowd and gain some confidence under your belt? Confidence boils down to two things, knowing who you're and not caring what others might think of you. This allows you to be free with your speech, conduct and personal thoughts. You walk around with your head held high, knowing who you're and were you're going. Confidence is not arrogance or thinking you're better than anyone else. It is knowing your place, and having the ability to say and do what is right, without fear of what others might think of you. Here are some simple steps to begin building confidence today.

1) Look people in the eye: Eye contact screams respect. Practice looking people in the eye and talking with them. If you feel uncomfortable with this at first, try looking at the persons forehead.

2) Put yourself into uncomfortable situations that grow you: In order to learn who you're and grow in confidence put yourself in situations that feel uncomfortable. If you hate public speaking, sign yourself for a public speaking class. Confidence is knowing who you're and were your going. What better way to become confident than to do things that you feel non-confident doing.

3) Change your posture: For some reason your posture greatly effects how you interact with people & think about yourself. Begin practicing walking with your head held high and your chest out, (not comical). At first this may seem odd, but you will see that overtime a better posture will result in more confidence. People pick up on body language more than anything, and walking with confidence will allow you to speak with confidence.

4) Change your thoughts: Watch what your saying to yourself when talking to people. Are they thoughts that build you up, or tear you down? Begin speaking to yourself as you would to a friend who is looking for encouragement. It all begins with how you speak to yourself.

You won't be confident right away, but overtime you will notice a change if you commit yourself to it. The Key is your Thoughts. Keep changing them, and soon you will as well.

My Story ==>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrepJUBr2SM

How to get Credibility INSTANTLY

If you want to have influence, you need to have credibility. Credibility is the ability to present yourself to an audience as an expert, by having proof that you've done something related to what your topic is. The benefits of having credibility is greater influence, respect and attentiveness when speaking.  When people are first introduced to you, there is a 30 second window of opportunity to capture their attention. After the window of opportunity is lost, the person disengages. Here is an example of creating credibility.

Imagine this scenario, you're sitting in the front row of a speaking gathering, and people are being introduced before giving a presentation. Who are you more likely to be attentive and listen to?

1) Introducing Bob, he will be speaking about time management.
2) Introducing Bob,  he is the author of "best time management techniques"  and is the creator of time-management.com, known as a motivational speaker with 10 years experience. Today he will be talking about time management. Who has better credibility? Who will you more likely listen to and pay special attention to?

Obviously the second choice would be best. So how exactly do we become credible? Its simple, all you need to do is create something that you're able to share that you've done. It doesn't have to be something difficult like a book, or a successful website. Take out a pencil and write down these three things that can make you credible NOW.

1) Write a Report: After you have written a report you can now say I am the author of "How time management really works, and its critiques" This can be written in an hour, on a word document, signed by you and then saved as a pdf.

2) Write an E book: Now this can be quick too, write a few chapters on whatever your "expertise" is, save it as a pdf. It doesn't need to be published or anything! Instant credibility

3) Create and write down a system: The system can be simple, for example. Say you figured out how to organize your day, write down the steps of what you do in order to get a day organized, and number them, and finally put your signature at the bottom. Congratulations you've created a system! Its that simple.

The psychological trick of creating an report, e-book, system, or etc and then verbalizing you've created something will capture the attention of your audience. This technique is used by the best marketers out their. Now you know the trick yourself!

Note: Within the first 30 seconds of a speech or conversation make sure to mention what you've created. It will draw in your audience, catapult your influence and make you an instant credible expert in your field. I hope his helped, God bless!

For more FREE information check out my Youtube channel here ==>> https://www.youtube.com/user/TheResurrectedLight

The Power of Discipline

"When it comes to change, inch by inch life a cinch, yard by yard life is hard."

I have this quote posted in my bedroom and its a constant reminder to what it takes to get things done. When you need to do something and you really don't want to do it, or its difficult to do but it is necessary to get done, discipline is needed. Now you might ask, what is discipline? Is it forcing myself to do things, or keeping  myself from pleasure? Or you might also think that discipline is pointless and useless. The truth is, is that discipline is the key to success and to achieving goals.

There will be days where you will not want to do what it takes to reach your goals, and that is when discipline is most needed. The bible puts it well, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Discipline while doing it in the moment is no fun, but afterwards there is always a harvest. Lets make a simple analogy of Exercising to lose weight, you need to exercise and eat less everyday in order to lose weight, but someday's you wont want to. So how exactly do you stay disciplined? Here are 4 steps I personally use to stay disciplined. 

Goals for Fall

1) Write down your goals somewhere in plain view, that can be seen daily

2) Keep a planner with you, for things to do that day towards your goal

3) Keep up with your progress; Look where you started and where you are now.

4) Celebrate the Small successes, enjoy each step of the journey

When working towards your goals, staying disciplined is crucial. It is difficult but more than rewarding. God Bless.

Add me on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheResurrectedLight

Dream again

So its 1 am my time and I can't stop thinking about Jon Acuff and his new book to begin doing something you love doing today. They are written in his two best selling books Quitter and Start. And Yes Jon I am helping you, you're welcome. To summarize what he says is that the biggest thing holding any person back from accomplishing what they would like to do is fear. Fear of going out and doing something that no one has done before, the fear of starting something that has not been done, the fear of failing horribly. My question to you is, what are you afraid of from holding you back from what you really want to do? Is it what people might think of you? For me it has always been lack of clarity and the fear of people criticizing what I am doing. But the truth is, is that their are many people doing nothing and criticizing because they're jealous of the ones doing things!  I like how a good friend Bogdan Kipko put it, find something you love and that helps people and do it, that's what your calling is.

So maybe your reading this and agreeing with the things I am saying or have some common fears I do. I would challenge you to begin facing those fears today and really allow yourself to dream once more, and begin to take some actions steps towards what you really want to do. Make that first step of meeting with someone, making a connection, looking for that job, going back to school, or picking up a book.  It might be the beginning of a thrill of a life time. If you haven't check out my YouTube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheResurrectedLight